What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

HELLO

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Have you experimented with bestiality?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Why do I have an itch in my labia, white gooey and thick discharge which doesn't have a smell but my vagina does sometimes and both me and my partner do not have STDs, what is it?

Yes sir it is.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

{RING} {RING}

Why The Simpsons stopped producing Maude Flanders episodes?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

What does it mean to live "the 'underconsumption' life"?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Sure no problem officer.

After a few moments he returns.

What happens if a parent refuses to let their child be transgender? What happens if the parent tries their hardest not to allow their child to be trans, like flushing every bottle of their trans child's HRT down the toilet?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

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